Feeling angry?

1.       What consequence has anger had in your life? How does anger affect your life? When feeling angry, take a moment to walk away, count down from ten, deep breaths and then think: “if I respond or react now, what consequence will it have?”

We have different levels of consciousness (awareness).

A.      Lowest level is SHAME: “I am no good”, “I am worthless”, “I will never amount to anything”

B.      Second level is DEPRESSION: Depression is focusing on something which has already happened; something we can not change.

C.      Third level ANXIETY: racing thoughts, uneasy feeling overall, queasy feeling in your stomach. Anxiety is always the fear for the FUTURE that something will or may happen (with depression, that something has already happened)

D.      Above the three mentioned is ANGER: On a conscious level, we “would rather” be ANGRY then struggling with depression, anxiety or shame. It’s easier to LASH OUT then feel angry, depressed or shame. Anger is ALWAYS masking or hiding another emotion. When you LASH OUT or REACT to ANGER, you experience a temporary release which creates neuro-pathways in your brain to always respond to that external stimuli (experience) with anger: In other words, we teach our brain to always lash out when confronted with a similar situation. The temporary release (with long term consequences!) becomes addictive because it feels good in the moment. .. it feels better then shame, depression or anxiety.

E.       Long term goals for anger is to teach other strategies to handle anger such as defusing the situation before it escalates, taking time out to cool off, sitting with anxiety and counting down from ten, distracting your mind from ruminating thoughts, assertive communication, self awareness, meditating or other relaxation techniques, exercise, etc